TA: WATCOs for Research C

I’ve finally decided on a topic for research C. Online gaming has become a problem that has led to tragic deaths every year. Recently, there has been a move to place warning labels on these games. These are my possible WATCO ideas:

WATCO legalizing and enforcing addictive warnings on video-game related deaths?

WATCO implementing addictive warnings on online gaming populations (how else do I say, “the numbers of people who play the games?)

WATCO requiring a legal age in order to purchase online games on gaming populations?

WATCO banning online games on the gaming industry?

WATCO of requiring warning labels on game addictions?

WATCO of online games on mental health?

WATCO of online games on sociability?

WATCO of requiring warning labels on the gaming industry profit?

WATCO of providing rehabilitation centers for online gamers?

Some of these would probably be fairly difficult to write about. I see the fourth one as almost impossible seeing that one can’t ban something because it is harmful to society (if that were the case, alcohol, cigarettes, and media would be extinguished!). These ideas just came while typing—so some of them aren’t so great. I think I like the effects on gaming addictions. What would help game addictions the most? Tax dollars that build rehabilitation centers (like the government does for drug addictions) or warning labels? I’m assuming there will be more information on labels (I could use cigarettes for an example), or the effect of warnings on game addictions. Now for a better WATCO….

FW: Violent Media, Porn, Bloody Video Games...if you think that ruins childrens' minds, maybe you should check out Kindergarten

I heard there was a Stress Management Class available to BYU students. It is two credits every week of lying down on a mat and listening the relaxing music. Neat eh? I need to check into it because the stress of trying to get good grades rules my life. Its as if I was programmed to think that school grades control my life--ever since that tragic kindergarten-day. I remember getting a "fail" on knowing my address when I was merely 5 years old. Even then, my family had just moved to White Fish, Montana, and I didn't even have time to memorize it. Little sympathy was shown to me and my feeble mind, and since then the scar has remained in my mind. Never would I settle for anything for less than my best. Now, sometimes that doesn't equate to what my professors think is an "A," but I really try my best. I remember walking home in biting cold wind that day in 1989, and vowing to never let the school system beat me. I will beat it. That's all there is to it.
I don't even remember the name of my teacher. I don't even remember the name of the school. I can't even remember who my friends were at the time. What I DO remember is seeing that nasty yellow paper, with "pass" check markds in every box, EXCEPT the phone number and address boxes. Permanent. It was written in ink. Never to be forgotten.
I bet they still send that to wherever I apply now in life. Maybe that's why Harvard hasn't sent me my full ride tuition yet. Maybe that's why Stanford refuses to look at my application. Kindergarten. Oooo. Aargh. The word strikes ice cold in my heart. Never will I forget the tragedy done to me that day.
I guess the title of the blog was more of an attention grabber. I guess I should tie this into it somehow. (Steps on soap box) "If you think violence, porn, bloody video games, or bad language have an effect on your childrens' minds...don't be fooled. The strongest influence they will ever feel is that first report card which stamps their heads with success or failure."

RA: Rated M for Mature

This is just a quick rhetorical analysis about the video I shared in my presentation. Sadly, it wasn’t working, so I guess we can all just act like we saw it. You can see at Google Video under, “Rated M for Mature.”

The short clip is about how video games are becoming more violent. The first moments have a “Rated M” sign come over, and a man’s voice describes how video games have now been linked to more frequent violence. Surprisingly, it followed similar “making the contract” techniques we learned in this class. It presents a situation and lures the viewer in to see what is going on. PATHOS is clear—as it informs the viewer of the seriousness of the situation (graphic content always works).

It does present plentiful graphic video games—but fails when presenting its ETHOS. The video does interview a bunch of hard core gamers. But that is it. Just a group of hard core gamers. No opposing side. The video thus becomes slantingly biased. There are no strong statistics or evidence provided by anybody. Just a few opinions about how games are cool and shouldn’t have an effect on society.

Aside from that, things were fine. It correctly brought the issue forward Sadly it only continued to address the side of the gamers, without correctly informing the public of the other side.

TA: Paper B condemned as INHUMANE

The following sentence is the one that mentions the inhumane argument, but I don’t really address it in my paper.

“Supporters of allowing immigrants infected with such diseases plague the courts with words that condemn current law as “inhumane” or “unconstitutional.”

The following part of my research paper B was condemned as “inhumane:”

“Similarly, legislation must be revised to permanently prohibit tuberculosis or HIV carriers at our door and prevent immigrants—infected with any other of the diseases of public health significance—entry into the United States of America.”

I personally thought the sentence was quite strong when I wrote it, but I’m struggling getting around the “inhumane” argument. What can I say? Yes. It is inhumane to stop some individuals from coming in illegally. But, does the doctor who wishes to cure people with leprosy kiss his patients goodnight? No! He can’t. There needs to be some kind of level where we have to say, “I know this is a little inhumane…but for the greater cause, but for the American public health, we say ‘No!’ to the infected immigrants who desire to cross our borders.”

Professor Esplin mentioned that “inhumane” arguments never win. On this account, I will revoke the statement above and work for something else. Should I just completely drop the “inhumane” argument and leave it out of the paper—or discuss the importance of thinking more about the American Health first? Isn’t it inhumane to let a group of children plagued with HIV to play with your children? What if it was someone you knew who contracted the disease due to an immigrant who failed the examination but was let in? Wouldn’t that be just as inhumane as rejecting their entry? Perhaps agreeing that it is inhumane, respecting and showing sympathy to the opposing side, and then reminding the board would be what its priorities are is the better stylistic approach—instead of the bitter cold, logical argument. What do you think? Is there anyway to hop around this argument without being too impersonal or mean?

FW: The whole idea about video game violence

Can anyone deny that watching violent material causes violence? I mean, what is the big deal? Those who oppose are adults anyway, and could buy the games even if they were rated MATURE. There was one fact in particular that sold me on the idea. It was that in the United States, homicides doubled the same year the television was released. Now there could have been some drastic political movement, or some other cause that added to the rate, but to think that it doubled! Undeniably, violent media has an effect.

Now off of that topic, onto a new. Should we limit or prohibit violent video games? If we did, why not limit what can be put into movies? Why not prohibit alcohol, pornography, cigarettes, and every other terrible thing linked to crime? Because it takes away somebody’s right to partake of such things. Thus I stand on the side of: don’t take them away. We can’t. I mean, a sinless world would be nice, but unless we’re going to eliminate some of the bigger factors (alcohol, porn) first, then why pull the enjoyment of someone’s video game pleasure when such a minute percentage of people actually go crazy after playing these games? Enough said. I think this case isn’t going anywhere for awhile.

RA: Video Game Violence

“Violent Video Games: Myths, Facts, and Unanswered Questions,” was written by Craig A. Anderson. He immediately opens with his educational background. I had to laugh when I read it. So few articles posted on the web these days actually open with their credentials. His creds, in particular, would silence any opposition! He is received a PhD in Psychology from Stanford University and is currently the Department Chair of Psychology at Iowa State University! The article then lists his various achievements in his 40+ years of studying media violence. All in all, the article does a great job in summing up the fact: argue with him, and you’re an idiot!

His article then goes through and lists the typical myths about video games:

Myth 1: Violent video game research ahs yielded very mixed results.

Myth 2: The studies that find significant effects are the weakest methodologically.

Myth 3: Laboratory experiments are irrelevant.

Myth 4: Field experiments are irrelevant towards aggression.

Myth 5: Correlation studies are irrelevant.

He then goes through one by one, with proof, citing all of his sources on why all of those are false. I have to admit, the article was fairly convincing—Despite the fact that never once does he say: Violent video games cause violence. It seems that he effectively beats around the bush and describes everything but that exact statement. Well done, Stanford graduate, well done.

TA: My other resources for Research B

Here is a quick list of some of the other sources I used for research paper B.

The Centers for Diseases Control and Prevention

The Constitution of the United States of America

United States Citizenship and Immigration Services

United States Department of Health and Human Services

United Nations Statistics Division

The reason I picked these as some of my primary sources is because…well, just look at their titles. Is there any more ETHOS that can be established than that? I have all of the top centers in America who are and would be involved in the participation of creating a powerful lobby group to Congress in order to tighten medical screenings. I also included the United Nations Statistics Division just in case. I think it adds credibility to my paper because the UNSD is a division outside of American policies and bias. They provided much of the needed statistics that actually helped me prove the negative aspects of allowing immigrants, carrying any of the Communicable Diseases of Public Health Significance, into the United States.

I did use three articles for the sake of saying that I researched some of the archives (which, honestly I did)—but they just were too opinionated. I thought a new idea would to be including a majority of statistics brought from government agencies, who would provide neutral and reliable statistics for my paper.

FW: Thanksgiving

During the break—I think I’ve finally decided on an idea that my friends and I are going to pursue in order to help society. We want to put together a program that will help single mothers into careers and jobs that provide both enough hours to support their family and other benefits. Many single mothers do not have the time, knowledge, or resources that everybody else has to get a job. In fact—it is strenuously difficult. My sister is one of them. She has two kids—and all I hear about is how difficult it is for her to find a job. Even when she does, she struggles putting together a resume to be somewhat impressive to employers. Yet, how can they have the time and means to do this if all of their extra time is spent on the kids? That is exactly why this group needs the help so badly. We want to organize a foundation that will freely help any who wish to partake of our services. It is just a start, but my wife is a linguistics major, myself an English Literature, and my buddy a business-deal making champion. Put us together, and we have a small team to help create a resume and find someone who might be interested in hiring these persons.

RA: An Opposing Article

One of my primary resources is “f The Foreignness of Germs: The Persistent Association of Immigrants and Disease in American Society.” from a periodical known as the Milbank Quarterly. It is written by some man—who I’m assuming is backed with credentials (to which I couldn’t find) because the article is Peer Reviewed—by the name of Markel. He describes the history behind the medical screening on immigrants beginning with practically the Stone Age of America. He discusses each President of the United States and their contributions to the policy to which the law now stands. The article takes a change in stance near the middle: He immediately begins to criticize the policies and the damage they are doing to America (despite the fact that they are keeping out diseases). He brings up plentiful statistics about the illegal immigrant population and no matter what the medical screening does, it will not prevent “microbes” from crossing the border. He finishes strongly on this point. He briefly mentions the constitutionality issue—but for the most part leaves that one untouched.

Overall, the article is written well. The man has done his research. It was actually a beneficial article to me (despite the opposition in opinion) and helped me see where the main argument of the issue lied. I think anybody would be well informed after reading it. I do think that he could’ve provided some kind of resolution. It felt biased to no avail. I didn’t feel like it tried pushing anything, other than the fact that medical screening is bad.

TA: Audience for B

It was quite the battle deciding on whom to pick as my audience for research paper B. At first, I had picked the US Centers for Immigration Services—due to the fact that they are the ones working right along the borders. But, that just didn’t settle right. I imagined a fat man, sitting behind a counter, working forty hours a week for his cheap, government job. Then I thought: The UCIS probably doesn’t care at all what the law is…they just follow it. They would have no say in anything other than the fact that they must obey law.

This is the primary reason I changed at the last moment before typing my paper. I had to find somebody who cared about the public health of America. After searching through a list of services, I found the US Health and Human Services, with a link to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention. Imagine a board, whose entire career is based around protecting the American public—so why not write a persuasive essay to someone who would actually lobby

Congress to change current law? Writing Congress itself is just a waste of time. Too much politics. Same with the president. Too much politics. We need someone who can (without party ties) lobby congress to help change the law.

FW: The Tuesday Free Write: I want to listen to President Monson, but I can't! BYU has robbed me of my pursuing spirituality opportunities!

As Thanksgiving draws close—the possibilities on how to spend my time feel limited. Homework. I don’t get the ideology behind BYU. Though they claim to be the Lord’s school—I’m stuck with enough homework, that it fills every holiday break (the total of two we get a year) and even my Sabbath. Even the Sabbath! I love it. We can have a general authority in the church come and lecture on how we should obey the Sabbath, yet every professor gets it in their mind that they can plague each student with countless hours of homework—and expect us NOT to do it on Sunday. Who wouldn’t? Who doesn’t do their work on Sunday? I can imagine the second coming of Christ now, and seeing a giant fireball burning this place to a nice crisp—on a Sabbath—because 90% of the student body would be got breaking the Sabbath filling out huge papers that are do the following Monday.

Then there is the classic excuse that it is up to the student to decide if you do homework or not on Sunday. Correct. But how does any professor expect a student to get an A on anything except they spend laborious hours on the Sabbath preparing for their classes? In fact, BYU wouldn’t have the top business school in the nation if it didn’t require its students to work on the Sabbath—yet we all praise and clap when “We are #1” is announced. Is this a good thing? Or are we digging a pit for ourselves?

RA: University of Michigan Research

I have to say as I analyzed the rhetoric of the research performed by the University of Michigan—I had to laugh. The article does go against everything I have to say in my research paper—but I use it as a basis to prepare for what items I need to defend when writing the paper.
Backed with a wonderful background of immigration application law, they continue to establish ETHOS with big professor names and other researches. About half way through the article there is a major shift of stance—pointing towards the negativity of creating stricter law regarding medical applications.
The researchers move the argument completely to other arguments—like illegal immigration, and the constitutionality of creating such laws. Everything that they do to convince their audience (which in my mind, they do a fantastic job of helping the reader become heated over a bunch of random topics in some strange way tied to stopping infected immigrants) is commendable. Both ETHOS, and LOGOS are supported strongly throughout the entire article.Little PATHOS is found, and the biggest weakpoint is definitely its lack of introducing something NEW. It was like re-reading an article that summed up every bit of common sense one could muster on the subject. But, I guess it is the University of Michigan, can’t really argue the big guns when I’m only an undergraduate at BYU!

TA: Possible enthymemes

These are some possible WATCO’s and enthymemes for my paper B.

WATCO making stricter laws on the medical application for citizenship on American health?
WATCO providing TB treatment for illegal immigrants on American public health?
WATCO providing TB inoculations for immigrant children on American public health?
WATCO loosening medical regulations on immigrant citizenship on American public health?

These are all options because it seems like if the laws were too strict, it would be unfair to those born with chronic illnesses. It doesn’t seem constitutional to deprive people a life in the “land of the free” if they are born with something—but then again, when do we as Americans put our interests first? I don’t even think constitutionality can be considered when talking about my paper—A) it would be a pain to answer this and B) it seems a little off topic. Any thoughts? My possible enthymeme would be:

Making stricter medical laws for citizenship application will promote better American public health because limiting certain foreign ailments will lessen contagious diseases in America.

The wording is terrible at the moment, but for sake of brainstorming an enthymeme, I think it does the job. The implicit assumption works, and I think everybody would have to agree with this provided with correct statistics (assuming the ACLU never has a look at my paper.

FW: I don't know what to do

Let us just take a moment and complain about now knowing what to do. Does it really matter what I choose? My paper is in no way going to persuade and ant to even look for food. That was a terrible analogy--I just think immigration is such a sensitive issue and everyone has their opinion built on VERY STRONG FOUNDATIONS. Can I change that? No. I don’t really think so. Especially when my opinion about this is still in the air. I think if I had, if anyone had for that matter, a good idea to resolve the issue it would be solved by now. But nobody does—so this paper is going to do real no good, other than to help me learn how to present facts to a brick wall. (Can you tell that I’m upset that we have to write about immigration? I figured it was worth complaining about just a little!)
So in my quandering, I'm lost. It is Tuesday, and I am supposed to turn in two possible audiences with a WATCO tomorrow, and I have no idea what to do. Just because I have an interest in Asia, I am kind of leaning towards that kind of immigration. What can we do to help resolve any issues that exist on the Pacific border? Are there any issues? I don’t even know where to start.
Human rights? Is security more lenient about deportation to Asians rather than South or Central Americans? Are harbor checks routine and consistent? How well does the national guard or coast guard make efforts on preventing such immigration? Should we even limit Asian immigration?

RA: The Tribune Article

As a rhetorical analysis, I will review a previous Salt Lake Tribune source for my first research paper. It is interesting to note how easily it is to tell which side the article is debating. Surprisingly, it is arguing against my paper.
The first paragraph does let the reader hang in silence wondering where the article is going to go. It mentions that the school board is slowly “treading” on the problem of vending machines and that some have rallied to limit competitive foods. After a few comments from members of the Utah Board of Education, it gets down to the point.
After luring the audience this far, he pounces. He throws out some facts about Utah scoring an “F” on the national scale of overweight teen prevention—his source is my source which also stated that Utah has the lowest amount of obese teenagers in the country! Funny how he cleverly left that little bit of information out. Either way, he continues for the last paragraph, letting his audience know that Utah is doing nothing to solve the problem. He lists the various fields in which Utah has failed over the past years—such as providing healthy meals, proper health education, etc.
The information that he did use was all correct. He didn’t lie, but it just beat around the truth that Utah is doing a great job on maintaining student health. Style wise, I thought the article was fairly effective. He followed a nice introduction with some powerful “facts” that there was a problem that needed to be taken care of—whether that be true or not.

TA: Ideas on topic

These are some of the topics discussed in class as well as some topics that I am beginning to research. For the TA, I thought it might be nice to organize some of the topics down on paper. They are as follows:

Making the national language English
Test questions on obtaining citizenship
Tightening security on California harbors for Asian immigrants
Tightening harbor security in Florida for Cuban immigrants
Amnesty
Costs towards building and maintaining southern border security
Crime rates from illegal immigrants compared to citizens
Helping Chinese policy towards emigration prevention
Pushing for stronger punishments towards immigrant crime
Economic “drain” from immigration
Economic “gain” from immigration
The American Dream providing leniency towards illegal immigration
Christianity and immigration platforms
Mormonism and immigration platforms
Medicare and other insurances for immigrants
Benefits of American culture from immigration
Media and immigration
Higher wages for illegal immigrants
Helping Mexican policy against immigration
Effects on labor supply and economy after sending immigrants back

I think with this subject in particular—either way you pick, the audience is going to be very hard to convince to believe in your view. Even with statistical evidence, this could all be based on sheer opinion. For this reason, I am heading toward more of Christianity point of view—and helping the Mormon population support some view. Although the Mormon population is a minority, it would really be beneficial to unite a specific sect to vote one way (without breaking the barriers of church and state).

FW: Activities Committee

I think I would’ve dreaded only one more calling than the one I received this week: Primary. But, thankfully, I was called one above on my list to the activities committee. Now, I will try my best, and invest all that I’m worth to helping the ward have fun activities—sigh. Remember all those announcements at church, and yet it never really entered your mind? Yep, that will be me. Planning all those “fun” activities that few people attend.
If there is one thing I learned on my mission, it would be that people don’t go to activities, despite how much effort has gone into making them. I wish I could change that, and I will try—but somebody bolster my faith about this. In fact, I went to an activity last week for the stake, and we had maybe 30 people at it. 30 people! For a stake? Sigh, now I have to pay my dues as the ward activities committee.
Though I’m slightly pessimistic about the idea, we do get the opportunity to work with a bunch of fun individuals. I hope that maybe our efforts will lend a hand to those looking for the gospel or provide them a chance to interact with members and eventually join the church.
Ah, Provo wards—watch out, for me and my spouse. Here we come to rock your world with more thrillingly entertaining activities. Its in the name okay? Activities Committee.

TA: Revising the introduction again

For this weeks TA, I thought I could show how I changed my first paragraph to provide a more fitting introduction for my research paper A. The blog has a 400 word maximum limit, so in order to meet that, I have omitted portions of the introduction. The first draft is pasted:

On August 28, 2007, it was reported that Utah—out of all the fifty-one competitors including Washington D.C.—had taken first place; Utah is apparently not home to the highest percentage of overweight youth, but rather the breeding ground for the lowest percentage of heavy teens ... Rather, if Utah wishes to continue its nation-low statistics, or even prevent any further cases of student obesity, limiting competitive foods is a misled step toward its battle against obesity

The italicized parts are primarily where I think the problems lie. The first sentence is put into a passive voice, forcing the reader to question, “Who reported Utah?” Although I explain this later in the paper, it might be unsettling to the reader at only the introduction. For my revision, I decided to remove the passive voice and present in the beginning who is reporting—TFAH.
The next revision comes at the end of the paragraph. During the Peer Review, the reviewer noted that the last sentence might be too strong for the introduction. She meant that I was revealing too much about my argument before moving onto my paper. Now as we learned in class, this can be bad for some audiences. I'd like to oppose the idea claiming that my audience would keep reading despite the strong statement (the Utah State Board of Education) because they haven’t made an opinion on this item yet—and thus read my research. To please both parties, I left the sentence preceding the last underlined sentence in order to still show that I’m opposed to limiting competitive foods, but also removed the last sentence in my original introduction entirely and pasted it later on in the paper. Here is the new introduction:

On August 28, 2007, the Trust of America's Health organization (TFAH) reported that Utah—out of all the fifty-one competitors including Washington D.C.—had taken first place… With new information brought to the public ear, education reform policymakers need to be aware that this uninformed argument to regulate and limit competitive foods has been heading in the wrong direction.

And there it is, the new introduction.

FW: LDS AS A REPUBLICAN, DOESN'T WORK

I was once republican--now I dread the name. I guess I am fairly liberal as a conservative, still sitting on the right hand side of the scale. It all came about when I argued with one of my friends over homeless people. The natural, republican side would say, "oh, they are homeless. They did something to get themselves there and will never try to get back into society." How can you be a follower of Christ and have that attitude? Do these people edit Mosiah 4 out of their Book of Mormons, or was King Benjamin's speech on imparting our substance and not judging the homeless nor persuasive enough?
The same thing follows with immigration. Send people back and ruin their families? Then the republican says, "Well, we BELIEVE IN THE LAWS OF THE LAND. If they want to immigrate, then they can do it legally." In response to that I ask, "do you speed on the freeway? How about in those neighborhood 25 MPH zones? If you have, we reserve the right to revoke your license forever." Stating that one is trying to obey the "Laws of the land" is just a petty "christian" excuse to hide behind in politics. Where did the Christlike love ever go when thinking about our fellow men? Why can't we extend a hand to help those in need?
It was then that I decided I couldn't be a republican ever again. How could I? I also can't be a Democrat, for heaven help us if marijuana, abortion, and every other carnal thing is legalized. Liberalism is okay. Democratic party is not. So why can't a third party start? Is there nobody in the country that lies perfectly in the middle on the conservative scale?
I can't stand certain people's opinions for these reasons. When they open their mouths, the words that come out are so full of hypocritical church membership that makes me want to vomit. It is ill-thought, and unprepared. I just can't imagine Christ putting up a fence and holding a gun to enforce immigration--but whatever, anger I will to no avail. Down with republican christianity!

RA: Samuel Clemens’ Fenimore Cooper’s Literary Offenses

Don't we love critiques? In this RA, I am going to analyze the tone and stance of Mark Twain's critique about some of James Fenimore Cooper's works.

Clemens' tone from the opening paragraph reveals a great deal about the mood he sets for the rest of the passage. After a few quotes from literature professors around the Ivy League schools—who promote and advocate Cooper's work—he states, “It seems to me that it was far from right for the professors . . . to deliver opinions on Cooper's literature without having read some of it. It would have been much more decorous to keep silent and let persons talk who have read Cooper.” Almost immediately he lets the audience know that he has read it, and he obviously plans on disagreeing with the opinions.
This stylistic slander continues, “If Cooper had been an observer, his inventive faculty would have worked better, not more interestingly, but more rationally, more plausibly . . . Cooper's eye was splendidly inaccurate. Cooper seldom saw anything correctly. He saw nearly all things as through a glass eye, darkly.”
It is interesting to note that his tone stays fairly similar—being blatantly sarcastic—while his stance changes slightly. He comments lightly in the begging about how “Cooper's art has some defects” while one paragraph later he writes, “Cooper has scored 114 offences against literary art out of a possible 115. It breaks the record.” For a moment he lightly comments about how Cooper didn't meet literary standards, and then pulls out the 1/115 statistic to shift his stance to an avidly opposing point of view. He then continues his tone to bash the other author, listing all the mistakes: “12. Say what he is proposing to say, not merely come near it. 13. Use the right word, not its second cousin.”
His stance stands strong throughout the rest of the passage. His tone does as well: condescending and sarcastic towards Cooper.

RA: The Brother of Nephi: Jacob’s Sermon

On Friday, we discussed a little in class about style. For my rhetorical analysis this week (also, because it is Sunday), I thought analyzing the style of one of the Book of Mormon writers would be interesting.
Jacob, to probably every reader, stands out in the Book of Mormon for his blunt, logical attitude towards the gospel.
He opens by proclaiming his diligent efforts to the lord and states in Jacob 2:3, “I have hitherto been diligent in the office of my calling; but I this day am weighed down with much more desire and anxiety for the welfare of your souls.” Immediately he lets the listeners—in this case, presumably the priesthood—know of his desire to help them but definitely sends darts of guilt towards the audience. For example, in verse 6, “Yea, it grieveth my soul and causeth me to shrink with shame . . . concerning the wickedness of your hearts.” This line is particularly amusing, because it contrasts his brother Nephi, who in kindness always positively persuaded his audience.
Jacob’s sarcastic, guilt-tripping language is seen again in stating that he had to “enlarge the wounds of those who are already wounded, instead of consoling and healing their wounds” (9). Ouch! Can you imagine a prophet saying that to you? His voice is also seen in the punctuation he uses. He often asks rhetorical questions to make the priesthood think of their guilt: “Do ye suppose that God justifieth you in this thing” (10)? He even uses the exclamation point here and again to show his pleading throughout the sermon like in verse 15-16: “let not this pride of your hearts destroy your souls!”
Even in the end of the Book of Jacob, he retains his rhetorical questioning, with a sense of sarcasm, stating, “O be wise what can I say more” (6:12)? His last statement in the sermon says, “Finally, I bid you farewell, until I shall meet you before the pleasing bar of God, which bar striketh the wicked with awful dread and fear. Amen” (6:13). He didn’t say, “I will see you happily at the judgment bar” or “keep up your righteous acts my beloved brethren,” but rather threatens once again the condemnation of the wicked.
This analysis is fairly brief, but hopefully the statements I included reveal a little about Jacob’s style compared to others in the Book of Mormon.

FW: I demand a change: effects of pregnancy

Dealing with a pregnant spouse isn’t easy. The cravings are just starting to begin. My mother said the cravings would kick in sooner or later, but I never expected my wife’s cravings to be for luxurious dinners! Nope. Not the typical chocolate, candy, or even in special circumstances, CHALK, my wife craves expensive dinners!

Now, as I sit back and try to think about this, it just doesn’t make sense. Why would the change in hormones make one consistently want to eat out? If she happens to be abusing her “pregnant” privileges and forcing me to take her out from sheer selfishness—then I’ll hand her two points for credit. On the other hand, if this hormone fluctuation truly be the cause to this money-draining expense (well, at least I the dinners are quite nice at a restaurant every night), then I wish it to reverse itself. Yes, you heard me. I want a change the current state of this ludicrous. Rather, I would change it so that she consistently craves, cheap, home-made goods that can be produced with a microwave or an oven. Is that too much too ask for a hard-working, yet very poor, college student like myself? Bread in milk. Ham and cheese sandwich. Why does it have to be Café Rio? Or even Olive Garden. All I know is, this better change in the next week or two—or I’m moving to where the bank can’t find me…EVER.

TA: The first part of my essay

Hey look! I'm using all that stuff I've learned and am throwing it down for my TA for this week. Is that okay? I'll do two next week if not. This is the intro to my paper, I thought it would be a nice practice to start my "intro" and actually see how I began a research paper.

The Fat of the Problem
On August 28, 2007, it was reported that Utah—out of all the fifty-one competitors including Washington D.C.—took first place; Utah is apparently not home to the highest percentage of overweight youth, but rather the breeding ground for the lowest percentage of heavy teens in the United States. Despite these facts, Utah parents have begun to rally support against the Utah State Board of Education’s current standing on allowing “competitive foods”—edible items sold through vending services such as donuts and other sugary substances—to be sold in public educational facilities. With this new information brought to the public ear, education reform policy-makers need to be aware that this uninformed argument has been heading in the wrong direction. Rather, if Utah wishes to continue its nation-low statistics, or even prevent any further cases of student obesity, limiting competitive foods is a misled step toward its battle against obesity.
According to Trust for America’s Health (TFAH), a non-profit and non-partisan organization led to prevent epidemics and disease, Utah scored an astoundingly low 8.5% for obese students. Even with these low numbers, “Utah is not one of the 17 states that have set nutritional standards for foods sold in vending machines” (TFAH 1). This means that despite unlimited access to competitive foods, Utah still ranks lower than any other state which has set nutritional bars on vendors, including the overweight-youth second and third place leaders: West Virginia and Kentucky (TFAH 3).

TA: Possible WATCOs for the first paper

I don’t have the wording down to “perfection,” but there are a few different ways I could take theWATCO for my paper directed at a few different audiences. The main question I have left to do is decide on who I want to write to. Each of the following WATCOs could possibly have a different audience. It seems kind of repetitive—but each one is its own WATCO, aimed towards a particular audience. Another thought could be to combine some of these into an enthymeme and allow one to be my A1 argument.

WATCO limiting competitive foods in public schools on student obesity?
WATCO prohibiting competitive foods in public schools on student obesity?
WATCO continued funding towards programs that educated children on obesity?
WATCO allowing competitive foods in schools on student obesity?
WATCO regional stewardship over obesity education on student obesity?
WATCO principal backed programs that educated parents on student obesity?

The possible audiences for the listed WATCOs could be: U.S. Department of Education, Congress, State Legislatures, Parents, Students, Principals, Regional Boards, and even to the general public.
An interesting piece of information I found was that Utah actually scored lowest on “overweight teens” despite the fact that we don’t have ANY standards that limit competitive foods. This pushes me towards the second WATCO—or maybe even the fourth. I wouldn’t necessarily be fighting against the status quo, but parents are starting to push for obesity education reform in public schools (just this month, brought before the Board of Education). Despite popular belief, this is an immediate issue.

RA: I'm Pregnant

Ha. Here is some exciting news…my wife is pregnant! Yes, and here I am rhetorically analyzing the way she told me! One must understand that I openly opposed a baby for at least the next year. So, step by step, as the story unravels, I will also break down her attempt to reveal to me the news.

I walked into the house, and there my wife stood doing the dishes. “We need to talk about something a little later tonight.”
I laughed and proclaimed, “As long as it isn’t a child!”
She went dead quiet and left the room. Ignorant as I was, my heart trembled:

WATCO having a baby in our relationship?

I continued doing what I was doing, until another 30 minutes passed and I asked my wife, who had reentered the room, “So what did you want to talk about?” She quickly left the room to the bathroom and threw me a pregnancy test. It read positive. I could read it in her eyes (through all the tears of course):

Enthymeme: Becoming pregnant and having a baby will fortify the relationship with my spouse because having a baby will foster love and development as we both try to prepare to start a family. Can’t you see that Kiel?...Implied Assumption: Anything we do to foster love and development to start a family will fortify our relationship.—Yep.

“Why are you crying?” I asked.
She replied, “Because you’ll be mad at me!” Ouch. She had already started her argument slamming at my emotions. How could I be the least bit mad/disappointed after hearing that? Pathos: It worked. Ethos: she is my wife. LOGOS: it was half my fault anyway! A triple whammy for me. Audience: Me. STAR…Yep.

I know it was a round about way of a typical rhetorical analysis, but I hope you enjoyed the story!

FW: A Quality Education Educates

I think a quality education, educates. The statement alone sounds absurd, but think about what it is saying. As far as the undergraduate program goes at BYU, professors have it in their heads that impossibly hard tests qualify their classes as a “quality education.” I don’t think that Harvard produces its Ivy League quality by making their tests extremely hard. So why do some of our professors? A test is a DIRECT REFLECTION of how one educates a class. A quality education produces a quality result. If the class average is at a 67%, then maybe you should take a step back and think, “maybe I’m not providing a quality education because I see absolutely NO quality result.”
Yes, Economics, American History, and Biology, are the classes that immediately come to mind. Ah, then the well-thought, sarcastic reply of our “best” professors who say, “percentages are all in your head. If I added ten percent would you feel better?” To that I reply, “Yes! Of course I would. Harvard, Stanford, Yale—they don’t care about your psycho-driven exams! They see a final grade of a C and think, ‘This candidate can’t even pass a general education class. Send his application to the garbage.” Why do you ruin your best students? Why do you prevent them from fulfilling their dreams? Professors, take note, if your class average on an exam is a D, maybe you should resign your teaching positions and start your own university—in the middle of the ocean and on the bottom of the sea floor! Now that outburst was a little frank, but how is our faculty allowed to escape without any kind of response from the student body? Well, finally, here it is (obviously, a bitter reply at that).

RA: Elder Oaks' Talk

For this week’s rhetorical analysis, I decided to analyze Elder Oaks’ talk on the Sunday Afternoon Session of conference. It was actually kind of interesting. Despite the fact that he has an audience who is willing to listen, it was interesting to see how he had to rhetorically persuade people to ACT on his words, not just LISTEN. He also spoke generally on a few different topics about time-management, but I thought I could break down one of his sub-points and write up the enthymeme.

Audience: Members of the church

WATCO making wise time-management choices in our lives?

Enthymeme: Making wise time-management choices builds lasting relationships in our families because providing needed time for our families will foster opportunities to create memorable experiences.

Implied Assumption: Anything that fosters opportunities to create [good] memorable experiences will build lasting relationships in our families.

Ethos: The white captioning that tells us he is a member of the Quorum of the Twelve. His life also is evidence of his enthymeme.
Pathos: He stated that he couldn’t think of a man that could look back on his life, having worked away precious hours that could’ve been spent with family, and say he was happy. Ouch! That hit home to we workaholics.
Logos: As far as statistics or things of that sort, not a whole lot. I think his logical approach was more to the implied common sense that we all have.

Sufficient: Due to his bluntness, I think it was sufficient. Nothing was drilled in more than it needed to be, and everything was down to the point.
Typical: He appealed to things members were very familiar with, making his talk understandable and applicable to our lives.
Accurate: The Lord is his source…does it get better?
Relevant: Well, his talk was based on sweeping up some of the slop members are starting to do in the church—so for the portion of his talk I focused on, it was relevant. For the most part though, other parts were on completely different subjects.

The talk was great. Now to the application part in my own life. What we do each day will have a lasting effect on our families. On the other hand, nothing we do in our school work or careers, will have a standing impact on the eternities.

TA: Research and ideas

For this week’s TA, I thought it would be convenient to write up some of the research I have found so far. Although I have found these facts out, my mind has been introduced to a few new areas in education reform (primarily college reform, as demonstrated in class). For Utah at least, reform is taking its hard toll on public schools.

To meet national standards of “progress” 95% of the enrollment must participate in the standardized tests. As discussed in class, this number could be affected by faculty discouraging students who might not meet educational standards from taking the test—thus, providing a better image for schools despite the fact that they are paying students off.
High school graduation rates cannot fall below 85.7%, with a yearly attendance rate of 93%.
Not only is attendance a huge role, but a whopping 71% of students must pass the math test. Now think about it, how many students enroll in basic algebra at BYU, and actually pass? How about UVSC? The numbers aren’t that impressive—and the No Child Left Behind rule requires 71% for elementary schools? Ouch.
The high school rate is at 59% for state math. Only six out of ten children have to pass the state exam. If the standard is so low, why should there even be a program that pushes this area. But then again, how can you force students in a school to only focus on these subjects? Does this, in turn, take away from their rights to a fair education?

Just based on this information, I thought a good idea for research might be to check out high-school math reform. Why does it drop 12% for high-school students? It seems like it should increase, rather than decrease. Maybe the level is considered far more difficult and thus they drop it. Or maybe elementary math is fundamental and thus the higher requirement? All might be possible answers.

According to the SLC Tribune, information released from the government reveals that 27 percent of the Utah schools are not meeting Progress standards—the percentage is predicted to increase next year. Also, the report contained many errors that slipped through the government’s check—thus, misreported information could also lead to a mis-distribution of money. This could also be a topic I could further research.

FW: The Next Apostle

Sadly, only a month and a half ago, President Faust departed from here and is on the other side. That leaves one question in the minds of many: “Who is the next apostle?” There are over 300 men to pick from (well, at least from the General Authority pool).
Since this week is general conference, I thought it would be convenient to guess! If I’m right, I will be comforted by that small feeling of satisfaction that I live close to the Spirit of Revelation (just kidding, all in the name of fun). IF NOT, well then, I will find some other way to justify myself!
But really, I think it will be Elder Kikuchi. This little Japanese man has led the nation since the day he was converted nearly 50 years ago despite his mother’s opposition. He lived to support his mother in the soy factory making tofu—then he met the missionaries. His plane has been hijacked and saved only miles above the ground before it crashed in a nose dive. He toured every mission frequently to booster the faith of missionaries. He was a pioneer in trying to respect the female—a cultural downside to even many in the church.
If that were the case, the first two foreign apostles will be from the two nations that led World War II over 60 years ago! Yes, Elder Uchtdorf the German, and Elder Kikuchi the Japanese. Wouldn’t that be crazy to think about? Two countries, who forced death to millions, would now produce two of the world’s greatest men—actual witnesses to the Lord Jesus Christ. I have my money on Elder Kikichi and am thrilled to watch conference this Saturday.

RA: Art Analysis

I saw this painting before when I took an art history class. I found it emotionally moving, and it came to mind when I thought about it. Picasso painted this after war had broken out and Germany started bombing cities. It is titled [Tragedy of] Guernica.

WATCO bombing civilian cities during war?

Enthymeme: Bombing civilian cities violates principle rules of humanity during wartime because fire bombing completely ends the lives of innocent victims who have nothing to do with war motives.

Audience: Policy makers

Implied Assumption: Whatever ends the lives of innocent victims who have nothing to do with war motives violates principle rules of humanity during wartime.

Ethos: Picasso painted it. Historical event.
Pathos: By showing the mother holding a dying child, a burning man, dead citizens, and even burning animals, Picasso relates the tragic effect of fire bombing. He shows homes burning, cities being destroyed, and even a helpless old man (front left) who has perished in the attack.
Logos: EVERYBODY dies when it comes to bombing cities.

Sufficient: Yes. He shows all types of people and animals that sends a bold message.
Typical: Yep. Everyone who decides to drop a bomb understands this effect.
Accurate: In the case of Guernica, yes. Children, parents, and animals were all killed.
Relevant: All is. Every piece of the painting reflects the terrible pain of the individuals caught in the flames. Even the light at the top of the painting represents the explosion of the bombs. The fire and houses also show the complete destruction of everything.
My opinion is that this is a very effective painting. One can’t look at it and NOT be disturbed. This had to be the effect Picasso went for. It strikes home to everyone and helps them realize the unfairness in bombing civilian cities.

FW: "The World is Our Campus" It's a Lie!

Why are the lives of every BYU student enveloped in the game of football? It seems to me that the only important news event to hit the BYU audience is how well the football team plays. If not a headline on how well/terribly we played, then it is a headline on how well they WILL play the following week. Does anybody care? Does asking coach Mendenhall help us prophesy the outcome for the oncoming week? Does he provide any new information for us to dwell on? Will asking Max Hall how he thinks we can outscore the next team help the planets align and spark a victory for us? No! Every article is the same—and every player who is interviewed provides us with the exact same insight on how they are going to win the next game. “Play better.” Oh wait, I have one: “play better on offense.” Original! Thanks Mr. Linebacker! The point being, why does it make the front page of the Daily Universe every single week? Why can’t we hear about the presidential campaign without scoring through the other pages—which, deep down on the inside everybody hates because the pages bend the exact opposite way you want them to. The ink smudges all over your fingers—so after disposing of the paper you have to keep your hands clear of your pockets for fear of smearing it on your clothes! Please, Daily Universe, make “the world” our “campus” and provide us with some sort of information that will impress our students into slamming those greasy little fingers of ours onto your pages!

TA: Forming the Contract

Here we go—one of my contracts seemed a little vague, so I thought I could practice a few introductions to see if I could create a contract with my reader.

Look! Once again, a picture of Max Hall throwing a football skews the front page of The Daily Universe. It seems to me that the only thing occurring in this dying world is BYU Football. Hilary who? Obama what? Korea has nuclear missiles? But what about an original shot of the BYU bench for new—but not really—news? If we as a university want to start producing the academic elite in this country, then I think it is time to sweep away the old, and properly educate our students through the Freedom of Press.

Before my mission I heard a few entertaining stories about the Jehovah’s Witnesses. “They believe in a driven and beaten slave as their leader,” or my personal favorite, “they believe that only 144,000 of them will be saved.” Others take their jabs (probably due to some long past incident or quarrel with the sect) and say, “they preach to hate the Mormons,” or “they are trained not to look into your eyes when you testify.” Mormon culture has started to take strong biases towards this particular faith. But what if the rumors weren’t true? Do Mormons still believe in plural marriage? Do they sacrifice animals in their temples? The Jehovah’s Witness sect of religion deserves the fair title of an active, community-strengthening faith that promotes positive aspects to its acquaintances.

These are just two more shots. They both seem a little long—and my sarcastic side comes out a little, but I think that adds a little cream to the pie (hah! That line was terrible).

TA: Using the A1 in an enthymeme

I just wanted to make sure I get the idea down about using the A1 in an enthymeme. We talked a little about it in class—in fact, had a quiz on it—and I feel pretty confident about it. I just really need to get in the habit of providing the general reason first (A), and then breaking it down to a specific reason (A1) in my enthymemes.

Enthymeme: Allowing my wife to drive consistently will breach our bond of trust because her reckless driving and high percentage wreck-rate destroys any positive thinking that I might have towards her driving.
Implied assumption: Anything that destroys positive thinking towards her driving will breach our bond of trust.

Enthymeme: Not allowing my wife to drive consistently will cripple our bond of trust because her seeing my stubborn, panicked attitude everyday makes her feel insecure.
Implied assumption: Whatever makes my wife fell insecure will cripple our bond of trust.

Enthymeme: Changing your baby’s diaper in front of me will stagnate any chance of me being your friend because seeing your baby’s gross little poopies will repulse my good intentions of befriending you.
Implied assumption: Whatever repulses my good intentions of befriending you will stagnate any chance of me being your friend.

I think they all look good. Of course, this isn’t something I would extensively write about but let me know if anything looks wrong.

RA: RC Willey and the Frame Man

Over the past week, as a wedding present, my parents kindly decided to buy a bed as a wedding present for my wife and me. To RC Willey we went. Upon entering—oddly enough—no sales people came and greeted us. They were all huddled on the other side of the room talking. But as we moved into the bedding area, an RC rep. soon came to greet us.
“Hi there, how are you today? (Without waiting for a response) How can I help you?” Ah ha! So, he wasn’t just after the knowledge of my current situation, the “how can I help you?” question provided me with his motives…$$$$.
My wife and I told him that we were looking for a bed. “We’re just college students” my wife added, emphasizing that we needed something easy to pack and move. He took us immediately to the metal-frame section with beds ranging from $300-400. He asked us a few nice questions about what college we were attending and replied that he also attended BYU years ago. The small talk was cheap as he kept looking at his watch—implying he was ready to move on.
It wasn’t until I mentioned aloud that my parents were providing the money for the bed that he immediately pulled us out of that metal-hole and moved us to the carved wood frames! Prices ranged from $1000-$2000. The salesman slipped behind and started talking to my dad instead; this time he was more patient, he walked slowly with my father, discussed his upbringing, asked some find-out questions about my dad’s family. Laughing at every remark, the man completely changed his approach!
Anyway, to make a long story short…based on his audience he changed his “sales tactics.” When the audience was a poor college couple, he expected little out of the visit. He DID understand our situation and provided all the frames that might fit into our budget. But when the audience became my father (the man with the real money), he slowed down his previously “busy” day, and walked, talked, laughed, and helped my dad make a good steady decision about a frame. He provided details, stats, and every other piece of information you would want to know about the frames.

FW: What's the BIG deal about anime?

Do you remember the last time you walked by somebody wearing a T-shirt of their favorite Japanese cartoon character, and you thought to yourself, “what a loser?” Maybe you aren’t one of those terribly quick judges of human behavior and you think to yourself, “Oh, that guy watches cartoons…kind of childish but I guess that is cool.”
To you, I speak out.
When was the last time that you watched a Japanese Anime—other than advertisements for Pokemon or Dragon-Ball Z? Or have you ever? Have you ever been to Asia? Probably not. Then you don’t realize the world that they grew up to live in is just like a cartoon. Everything advertised in Asia is done through animation. Newspapers, hair products, foot gels, etc. Their “cartoons” are adult story lines put to animation. Even modern literature is all drawn out in comic book style. What is your favorite movie? Imagine it animated, and you now have what most Americans will judge to be a stupid cartoon.
TO THE END WITH IT.
Yeah, I watch anime. I am proud of it. What do you do in your free time? Work on your muscles? Beat another man down in football (wearing pads, because it would hurt you too much if you didn’t—which is ironically making you a girl anyway)? Try to twist one more time to a hip-hop- beat? Run a lap in record time? Think about all of your hobbies—they are just as pitifully stupid in the eyes of anybody else as watching anime is to you. You would rightfully desire to defend your hobbies too right? Well then, no more bashing the anime watchers.

TA: To My Geico Friends

There I sat, listening to the different Geico commercials and waiting for each commercial break to end so that I could continue watching the BYU football game. It was fairly crowded. Every loose-end that BYU has running around its campus could be found there…meaning, at least one from every type of person was there. The game was being shown publicly in the park behind the law school. Each and every commercial drew a response from the crowd; I would like to focus on Geico’s advertisements (meaning, I’m writing this to you, GEICO ADVERTISEMENT BOARD!). Why? you ask? Well, Geico, your commercials drew NO response from ANYBODY there. Whether they be old, young, car insurance over-payers or car insurance under-payers, no effect! Thus I propose: TV advertisements that are more informative than (absolutely, extraordinarily, pre-viewed and approved) retarded, will improve sales of car insurance because a more specific ad will help persuade individuals to invest.
As we discussed defining an audience for each argument in class—I tried applying those “narrowly find your audience” skills. But I couldn’t. I watched countless Geico commercials, and not a single one to which I could say, “This commercial is for car insurance payers.” That was about it. Other than the fact that each commercial hinted at car insurance, it replayed more of a “look at this stupid clip and then look at our logo” kind-of-feel. Convinced yet? Audience needs to be more specific—just as pointed as this is to your advertising board!

FW: Otsukaresama? What the? Huh?

Ah, Otsukaresama. Possibly the most anticipated, highly decorated, flattering compliment you have ever heard—in Japanese at least. Say it with me: “Otsukaresama.” To say the least, Americans are stubborn and this compliment would only provoke an angering emotion in English. Imagine yourself as a construction worker. No, no, not the guy who risks his life climbing towers and pounds in bolts to steady high-risers. You’re not him. You’re the guy who stands with a SLOW sign while your fellow friends slave away at breaking up concrete. Yep, you are THAT guy! You watch to make sure old grannies pass safely as you proudly and craftily hold that sign. Had it not been for you, all hell and chaos would unleash itself…right? Then, after feeling like you are the scum of the world (around noon-ish), you see a beat-up vehicle of teenagers who “slowly” pass by and shout, “You’re a hard worker (otsukaresama)!”

What is your initial response?

Murderous intentions? Anger? Hate? Well, all are possibilities.

And for that precise reason, “Otsukaresama” won’t work in English. We live in a world where one can’t distinguish sarcasm and compliment. Had you been in Japan, holding that SLOW sign, protecting innocent children as they crossed the sidewalk only meters away, “Otsukaresama” would be music to your ears. Had you seen an old-man, pushing a cart of apples in the local grocery mart and called him an “otsukaresama,” he would bow his head in acknowledgement and reply, “Doomo (thanks). I know I am. I AM an Otsukaresama.”

So there you have it. Otsukaresama. You ARE a hard worker.

RA: "Television for Women"

Yes, the long awaited for, “Television for Women.” Before moving on with the rhetorical analysis, I just want all who read to know that I have no intention of selling, or re-distributing this catchy phrase (meaning, I didn’t know how to add the copyright mark onto it!) You can access the ad at: http://www.scoloncs.com/magazine-ads/adimages/TVV0002.jpg
This ad’s argument is simply to invite women to view the Lifetime television broadcasts. It does this effectively as it appeals to women in all situations, ages, and ethnicities. No, I am sorry all of you SPIKE TV lovers, this moment of reflection is not for you.
How much more could they point out an audience than that? I do not see any invading male figures. There is of course the terminator-looking figure immediately below the red box—whom appears to be masculine. It is in this point that this ad is (in my opinion) effective. Women of all ages and ethnicities are found all over the ad. Their faces are even different as they move through the motions of life. For example, in the upper-left we see a woman pondering the things of life (whether they be serious or not is up to the viewer). In the bottom-right, a black woman is bursting into laughter. Those with babies and those retired are plastered over the entire page. This helps the ad appeal to any woman (even the insensitive ones who can appeal to the terminator character).
Another effective trait in the ad is the addition of repeating “Lifetime.” Although not completely subliminal, the words are found in the same boxes with the pictures—but broken up so the word “Lifetime” is scattered around the page. This reemphasizes the argument to help invite women to watch the broadcast station.
There you have it. Lifetime appeals to all women to view into its broadcasts through this ad. In my opinion it is effective—just thanks to our masculine friend with glasses (see picture—this allows me to say “appeals to all women”).